Drops of Life » 日志 » A Gift from God
A Gift from God
carrie 发表于 2007-08-17 09:56:41
For this summer, I am always wondering why, why this would happen, why I could feel happy, why it just goes on so naturally, so many people all around the world, why the person is you, and why the other person is me....
When I look back upon thest days, I can hardly believe that I could go through this. From late April to June, I was in such a bad mood, dread, desperate, and devastating. I just lost my direction, trapped, how could I struggle out of that darkness? Every day was so painful, I did not eat, I did not sleep, all I could was breathing, with tears inside sometimes. I suddenly realized that I was so weak, so frail, so easy to get hurt~~Unbelievale, right? The world seemed so dark to me. Sometimes, I even thought about killing myself, just die, just let me go, just get me out of here, just let me free...but I couldn't, It was not right, I knew that....so I just hold on, just go on breathing...
At the early June, I was sent a guy, who was in the same mood as me, just down in the dumps; who started to ask me out, and made me forget the pain. It is the guy who encouraged me to go through out of the dark, and just as the song goes, "it's amazing how you can speak right to my heart without saying a word you can light up the dark". How I desire to show my gratitude to you! I got to realize that life could be wonderful just with your heart open, but can I ?
Itls really amazing when we two stay together, simple, happy. I could also forget everything behind, just enjoything the peace. Sometimes, when we didn't speak a word, but I could feel that you were looking at me, you were caring about me. I am not alone! It's sweet; it's happiness; it's the sweet happiness. However, at the same time, I'm afraid of that moment would be too short, too fast to pass by. I'm afraid of losing you. I will always imagine that, standing alone in the middle of the street, when a strong wind comes to strike upon my face, everything goes away from me, I suddenly realized that I've caught nothing in hand. This fear of hopelessness and nothingness runs down my spine, shivering through my whole body....
I'm such a plain girl, with ordinary looking and ordinary body, no special talent, no career, no money, no talk....ok, just kidding. I mean I really don't want to hurt someone, or get hurt, from the other angle. Actually, sometimes, I don't think I deserve these great cares, kindness, and even affections to me. How could I embrace such a good man？
Maybe I am too humble to myself. I am not that slow, right? But I really need some confidence and courage to hold on, to figure out. After such a long time searching, I feel so fortunate to get aware of that it's a message from God: Life is fair; that when He close a door in front of me, He have opened a window elsewhere. And now I guess, I have found that special window, from which I get a special gift----that is love! I thank God, I thank you----for the love, forever!
When I look back upon thest days, I can hardly believe that I could go through this. From late April to June, I was in such a bad mood, dread, desperate, and devastating. I just lost my direction, trapped, how could I struggle out of that darkness? Every day was so painful, I did not eat, I did not sleep, all I could was breathing, with tears inside sometimes. I suddenly realized that I was so weak, so frail, so easy to get hurt~~Unbelievale, right? The world seemed so dark to me. Sometimes, I even thought about killing myself, just die, just let me go, just get me out of here, just let me free...but I couldn't, It was not right, I knew that....so I just hold on, just go on breathing...
At the early June, I was sent a guy, who was in the same mood as me, just down in the dumps; who started to ask me out, and made me forget the pain. It is the guy who encouraged me to go through out of the dark, and just as the song goes, "it's amazing how you can speak right to my heart without saying a word you can light up the dark". How I desire to show my gratitude to you! I got to realize that life could be wonderful just with your heart open, but can I ?
Itls really amazing when we two stay together, simple, happy. I could also forget everything behind, just enjoything the peace. Sometimes, when we didn't speak a word, but I could feel that you were looking at me, you were caring about me. I am not alone! It's sweet; it's happiness; it's the sweet happiness. However, at the same time, I'm afraid of that moment would be too short, too fast to pass by. I'm afraid of losing you. I will always imagine that, standing alone in the middle of the street, when a strong wind comes to strike upon my face, everything goes away from me, I suddenly realized that I've caught nothing in hand. This fear of hopelessness and nothingness runs down my spine, shivering through my whole body....
I'm such a plain girl, with ordinary looking and ordinary body, no special talent, no career, no money, no talk....ok, just kidding. I mean I really don't want to hurt someone, or get hurt, from the other angle. Actually, sometimes, I don't think I deserve these great cares, kindness, and even affections to me. How could I embrace such a good man？
Maybe I am too humble to myself. I am not that slow, right? But I really need some confidence and courage to hold on, to figure out. After such a long time searching, I feel so fortunate to get aware of that it's a message from God: Life is fair; that when He close a door in front of me, He have opened a window elsewhere. And now I guess, I have found that special window, from which I get a special gift----that is love! I thank God, I thank you----for the love, forever!
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